farmhouse kitchen sink

Ive recently found that when you loose a close loved one, people tend to do one of two things; bury the feelings and refuse to mention the person, preferring to avoid the hurt or some people begin to cling. Ive decided that Im a clinger, I cling to the memories of my sister and relish the stories, I talk about her often, I have her pictures proudly displayed. I guess for me it's a way to "keep her alive" to keep her legacy. I want my children to remember her and talk about her with fondness. I find myself clinging these days to every little thing that reminds me of her. The pearl earrings she gave me or one of her rings, I have to wear at least one of them every day. The painting Charleston made of the two of us, the clothes she gave me, her favorite hudson jeans, the funny way we talked, our old inside jokes, they all bring a smile to my face (and sometimes lots of tears if Im honest). Joey and I recently remodeled our forever home. It was built by his pop and he was the sweetest man, so this house is covered in sentiment and it makes my heart so happy. There were multiple times through the remodeling process that I broke down and sobbed because my sister wasn't here to help me decorate it. Decorating was one of her many "biznesses" and man would she have helped me make this place so beautiful. So, there was this one thing that I had to do to keep a little "piece of Missy" with me every day, to cling to her. I remember a really hard phase in my sister's life where we spent an extra lot of time together and during that phase, all that she could talk about was her "farmhouse kitchen sink". Oh my gosh, she LOVED that sink and I thought she would never shut up about it! But, I knew when we started this remodel adventure that I had to have one in my house, I just had to have that little reminder of my sister. A reminder of all of the times at supper club she "beat me" to the sink to wash the dishes while I beat her to the dessert table. A reminder of all of the times my family picked about how much I sucked at housekeeping, while she always made sure to remind me of the many other things she thought I was awesome at. So, while many people just see a sink in this kitchen, I see years and years of memories and love. Im slowly accepting the fact that the ache of her loss will always be here. I thought something or someone would come along to fill the hurt, but it cant be filled. There will never be another Missy this side of heaven and Ill never get to be "hippy" again. For now, Ill just keep clinging to the little things that make me smile as I remember her... while I wash my dishes at love my farmhouse kitchen sink. <3