I guess I'll (reluctantly) put the ergo in the attic

A few weeks back we had taken a trip as a family and Charleston fell asleep in the car. I said to Joey, "man I wish I had the ergo (baby carrier) in the car so that I could just strap her in there and carry her." Joey looked at me a little funny and I continued, telling him how I was going to put it in the trunk so that I would have it for next time. Joey unknowingly brought me to reality by mentioning that the "baby" that I wanted to carry in the ergo... was actually almost FIVE years old. He then mentioned that he might be able to put those strollers (that I have been insisting on keeping in the garage for when I need them) into the attic now. I was a little saddened as the reality hit me. I suppose that I have been living in denial. This little girl is almost five and all I can see is a baby. It was the same feeling that I had when I finally packed away the Jon-jons that I was putting my then three year old Carson in. I finally saw him for the big kid that he was. Needless to say, that moment was a little sad for me and I finally agreed to let Joey move those "baby" items to the attic. Somehow, I must have drifted back into a little bit of denial. Today happened. I couldn't stop it, though I want to. She was too excited about it. This little baby of mine was thrilled to go into Pre-K. She went to bed grinning, woke up grinning and jumping around, got herself all dressed and ready and quickly jumped out of the car when we pulled into the parking lot. Almost before I could get out of the car behind her with my camera, she throws up her hand and says, "bye mom"! Just like that, she is a big kid. I can't lie, I have spent the morning in tears. I am not sure if my hormones or wacky or what, but today, I am an emotional mess. Joey has tried his best to talk me through it reminding me that they are still my babies and they will be home this afternoon. My sister was excited for me and all of this time that I will have now. Me, I'm still crying and moping. I moped my whole way through Target this morning, spoke happily to an old friend I bumped into, and went right back to moping. For me, its not so much that I think they aren't coming home or that I will get to see them less. It is the sad reality that this "phase" of life... with little babies, little toddlers and little people who need me so much has come to an end with these little ones. For some people, like my sister, its a welcome change, a new fun phase with more freedom and easier family trips. For me, this baby phase has been my favorite. I absolutely love it, I feel like its just part of what I was created to do. All I ever wanted to "be" when I grew up was a mommy. This phase has been one of the most rewarding, amazing, sweet things in my life to date.... so, needless to say my "fever" is running pretty high over here now. I am going to do my very best to get some work done today, but I just had to edit a few of my babies from this morning. Carson and Charleston are below and I can't wait to see Jacob this afternoon to add his photos and hear all about his first day!